01.

So I was always THAT kid. The one who would go to the library and work at lunch, the one who would sit and read at playtime. My mum used to take me to the library after school where I would love the bookworm challenges, would fixate on filling my sticker book to the end, would race to pick up a book and read it the whole night under my covers…until I got told to sleep. Five times.

I loved books. I loved seeing a story in front of my eyes, it was like being in another world. I used to dream about the books I read, dreamt about the characters, being inside the very scene I had just read. I had one of those run away imaginations when I was young – I could finish a five hundred paged book in three days maximum. We used to pre-order every Harry Potter book before it came out, and me and my sister used to sit in silence, just reading.

We had these boxes at school, you know those ones that were plastic and where they have the colour dot and if you were that colour, those books were meant only for you? I was at the near empty box at the end, where there was only 10 books or so, barely touched, a little dusty… a little older than the rest. It was the box for the quick readers, the readers who needed a challenge (or the ones the teachers didn’t have to worry about.) I was so proud of myself being in that box, that reading time with mum was always the best time of the night. I had to finish the next book before anyone else. I had to be the best reader.

I was always surrounded by books; I was THAT kid.

"Just sew the bloody thing!"

It ripped. The whole shoulder. I had actually ripped it. I stared. Are you kidding me? That moment, it felt as if my whole world was dangling by a Gutemann 120 black thread, dangling in front of a miraculous pass or an inevitable fail. I walked up the stairs, pin box in one hand, the ripped jacket in the other, hot tears rolling down my sleep-deprived cheeks, heart pumping back up at 1000 beats a second, the thought of that fail glowing red in front of my eyes.

No one tells you how pain staking brutal studying Fashion Design is. The little pin holes in your thumbs from the 20 pins you dropped on the floor of you work room, the flakes of skin peeling from the edges of your thumb nails from the handling of fabrics, the acceptance of 3 hours sleep and how this is a luxury, how normal it becomes to not shower and to not wash your hair, how easy it is to skip meals to get one extra hour of technical work finished. Reality is no longer possible, and your days are measured in hours and how long a new toile will take to make, and how much of the portfolio you can finish by 2am. At 10.55am Monday morning, I finally handed in four years of work (squeezed onto a memory stick and into a velvet presentation box.. screw the black satin ribbon). I had slept three hours that night. Flitting in and out of sleep in my Travelodge hotel room, napping purely so I could focus more on the garment evaluations and illustrated lineup that I still had to do. Every half an hour, a plummet of adrenaline welcomed itself into my veins, widening my eyes and making my breathing jump. “I’m not letting you fail!” screamed my brain as it fought with drowsiness.

The moment alone after I had handed in, felt peaceful. I had actually felt sun and oxygen on my skin – staying in doors for days on end really had felt like necessity to prove I had done work. I deleted my lists of my phone, the reminders that the swing tags HAD to be done by 3pm on Saturday. I scrolled through Instagram, I rang my mum, and I started breathing normally. I took a photo to post online and I really looked at myself. My hair was dry and had no life, red sleep deprived marks hung under my eyes, and spots had claimed their place on my previously smooth skin. My stomach rumbled – I hadn’t given it a decent meal in two days. It was over. I had made it to the end and I had survived. Just about. I felt peaceful.

I had gone through the most stressful few weeks of my life, to date. My anxiety flared up, my panicking started showing its ugly face. I stayed resilient and I kept my stamina. I counted the days down seven days before the hand in. I was used to crying, crying out of frustration, out of sleep deprivation, out of feeling like I wasn’t going to hand in. I had done away with being a normal twenty-three year old, I said no to dating, to nights out, to spending more than hour being social. I gave everything away, for a grade.

The morning before my hand in, I had ripped the lining of one jacket. I ripped it out of force, out of the realisation the lining was. Just. Not. Going. To fit. The only thought that entered my head was just to sew. Sew the edge to the shell, gather it and pleat it to make it fit. Just sew the bloody thing. I gave up on caring; I gave up on being perfect. I said no to remaking the whole goddamn thing. I realized how much I had given, how much I missed my life, my friends, my writing, the sound of my own laugh, the feeling of waking up and being able to enjoy breakfast. The comfort of sitting on a sofa, watching TV. I sat back in that desk seat, jacket in one hand, pinned together, pinned ready and set for self-destruction. I focused. Just sew the bloody thing.

It's not you, It's me.

You are a brute. You chewed me up and spat me straight out. You made false promises and let me down. 

London, it's over.

It's not what you think though, I promise. It's just a break, we need to take time away from each other. We've spent too much time in each others pockets, both living in a bubble and knowing nothing else other than each other. You flirted with my taste for excitement, you played with my spontaneous nature - you made me feel a sense of false security, but now, it's time to have some space. I spent all my money on you, I dedicated so much time and effort,  Only to realise that we're just not working out.

I have done the inevitable, it's time. I'm moving out of London - moving away, moving home, and turning to the dark side ; becoming a commuter. From the green depths of surrey, I moved to London four years ago, to chase after the dream to be in fashion. And god have I made my mark, and proved I'm part of the industry. Along the way, I have danced to the early hours of the morning in Fabric and Ministry of Sound, fallen out of the Uber (stylishy, may I add) on a Friday night in Mayfair, spent my sundays daydreaming in the V&A, sipping coffee on Kings Road.. even rummaging through the thrifts shops in Brick Lane. I've discovered my love of spas (Mandarin Oriental, you will always be "the one"), I've sat front row at London Fashion Week and drank triple shot mixers in the Mens Fashion Week after parties. I've grown with London, I've played with London and I've worked with London. But every relationship has its time, and my time of renting in the big smoke, is over.. well, for the next few months at least.

You see, they don't tell you what London is really like, apart from "it's where the work is! It's where life is!"And it is. It's 100% about living. It can swallow you up for all your worth, and spit you right out. All of course with good intentions. It was never a bad relationship. It had its ups and its downs. London taught me the meaning of resilience; the meaning of focus, motivation and multitasking. A relationship that made me appreciate being alone, but also how much you need others around you.. and how important they are.

We just need time. To breathe, to sort out what we really want, where our heads are at, and how much we really love each other. However, at this moment in time, London, it's over. 

Amelia Stephenson Launches Amelie Louise London

Through the intricate relationship between Pain and Pleasure, both power and beauty can be perceived and demonstrated – a key crossover that, for her preview exhibition for her launch collection, Amelia Stephenson has chosen to explore. Fulfilling the intimate setting of Blessings bar, Stephenson presented a collection that played on the sense of empowerment, of beauty and elegance juxtaposed through tie and restraint. With intricate emerald and black lace detailing, exposed through cut out and asymmetric line structure, it was indeed a collection of thought, of attention to detail through a delicate design relationship. But where exactly did Stephenson start exactly? “I’ve always loved the female form, I’ve always admired it. I developed my style from a general womenswear attraction, and really realized that lingerie design was more my passion through studying my foundation diploma - it comes naturally to design the way I do.” 

Walking through the tasteful exhibition, of the pain versus pleasure photo shoot undertaken by Stephenson in collaboration with Pip Jay King and model Jessica Talbot-Smith, there was a definite sense of fragility and strength, as the Stephenson pieces were exhibited through a raw and gritty environment, a characteristic that Stephenson is unafraid to show within her aesthetic. I questioned, what was her favorite piece and indeed, exhibited image? “The cupless body for me is my favorite, just because the detailing on the back is really different, it’s unique and stands out from your classic lingerie pieces, through the way it can be seen when worn under a garment as well as its own construction detailing. It’s a piece that can be styled as underwear, outwear, over the top of a garment as well as underneath.” 

It was clear that the Amelie Louise London brand is one of longevity, and that the exhibition was only the start of what Stephenson has in store. Where did Stephenson see herself in ten years time? “I really have high hopes for the brand, of us going out there and really showing what the Amelie Louise brand is about. Obviously, at the moment, it is just I, so hopefully there is a future for the team to expand, to really push the brand identity and to take on more than what is possible right now. I am confident that the Amelie Louise London brand can only grow and develop, as this is just the start.”

Images with credit to Pip Jay King. 

See the Amelie Louise London brand here : 

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/amelielouise.london/

contact - amelia.stephenson@allingerie.com 

See the photographer - 

Pip Jay King - www.pipjk.com 

See the model - 

Jessica Talbot Smith - https://www.instagram.com/jessicatsss23/?hl=en

contact - jessellents@hotmail.com

What's in the bag?

It's one of the best seasons of the year right now, and we're all feeling the urge to splurge, with advertisements left, right and centre, and money is flying out of our pockets so fast, that we forget about our overdrafts and chase that high of buying PRESENTS (I said it)... but, what if we considered what we're buying, just a little bit more? 

Despite the many preconceptions, sustainability can also be quite cool and fashionable. As I found out this week when I started the horror of christmas shopping and stopped by Lush.

Now, amid the walls lined in multicoloured gift wrapped boxes, all containing different gift ideas, with different prices and different sized, I found that I was after a unique present, something that not everyone had. Whilst trying to decipher whether the glittering white £18 ribboned body product box was going to do me any good, I was directed to the "scarf wrapping" after stressing I wanted a present that was unique and special. And she was right.

Lush are big very big on non-animal testing for the products and indeed, come from an ethical stand point, so there is no suprise that sustainability is one of their ethos as well. Cleverly done, the brand allow you to pick a vintage scarf to wrap your chosen products in. The scarf does cost but not much, and when chosen correctly, can be used as a fashion accessory for a bag, around the neck as part of an outfit, or even in the hair.

The scarf was then twisted into a series of knots, and you could indeed pick what kind of shape to have the scarf made into - I chose a bag shape to hold the products inside. The products I chose were also labelled with name, ingredients and how to use.

Now for unique present wrapping, this definitely stands out. The idea of having the scarf as the wrapping but also being able to use as an accessory is smart thinking, and does indeed change the idea of sustainable fashion, showing how reusing previously owned items for other uses can redefine the original object.

What if this christmas, as consumers, we find new and exciting ways to wrap our presents? The newspaper your parents collect, the packing from online websites, the scarf you don't really like to wear anymore, all can be used and changed (think paper + ink + staining) to redefine the unused objects concept, saving both our pay checks and the environment. 

Sustainability - reuse, resell, redefine. 

Sustainable Sass.

I'm afraid this is one of those moments yet again where I sincerely apologise for having not written anything for over a month.... and you guessed it, deadlines. Well good news, I'm back (whilst I have the chance). 

As a Fashion Design student, I have also had the opportunity in the last month to really open my eyes. Through all the gunk I have being sent to my inbox about a new 50% discount, or cookies popping up on the side of my browser on the new misguided dresses that I HAVE to apparently have for £15, I have opened up my eyes nice and wide to the antichrist of the fast fashion circus.. you named it, to sustainability. 

I wrote a post a while back about the current state of the fashion industry and indeed, how it is speeding up - consumers are wanting things quicker, they want it now, meaning designers are churning out designs quicker than they can get their morning Starbucks in rush hour. That is only 2% of the reality of the fashion and textiles industry right now. With emerging brands such as Missguided, publicdesire, boohoo, even zara and h&m, the fashion and textiles industry is working at top speed in order to get this weeks looks into stores and to their consumers, at an affordable, comfortable price. Sounds good right? Hold on just one minute. 

Have you heard of Global warming? Global warming is caused by the earth's atmosphere indeed, warming up, affecting weather patterns, water levels and environmental growth. Global warming is caused by the "greenhouse effect", in which the earth traps heat radiating from earth towards space - with CO2 acting as a main cause of this trapping. Now burning fossil fuels creates this CO2, such as burning coal, oil and gas. 

And here's the key part. The fashion and textiles industry accounts for 10% of global carbon emissions, and remains the second largest industrial polluter, second only to oil with fast fashion indeed speeding up this pollution. 

In context - you have the christmas party coming up, you need a dress for next week. It's the end of the pay month and you have about £20 to spend - but you want to look like Kylie Jenner, with the shoes to match. So you order a dress online that's £7.50, reduced from £15. You then buy the matching shoes for £12. The dress just about makes it through the christmas party, with the hem falling apart as you're dancing, and your heel snaps off as you get into the Uber. Well, they were cheap, so I guess it doesn't matter if you throw them away, you kind of expected them to fall apart anyway. 

We've all done it, I myself... and here's the situation explained. The reason the dress and shoes are so cheap, is because the fabric is cheap - the fabric used is a cheap synthetic that uses twice as much oil to create, and double the amount of water waste is also created.. ergo, CO2 production and global warming. Throwing away the cheap dress and shoes also creates CO2 pollution - the items go to a landfill site and are left to rot away, creating CO2 and methane pollution. Kind of regretting that £20 now a little right? And because of the low price tag, the items are bought 10 x more, doubling the pollution. 

This is one of the considerations that it is important to take as a consumer. We all love to shop.. the thrill, the feeling of having something new to wear, the adrenaline when you find THE DRESS in the sale and you get the last size 8. But it's also our responsibility as consumers to do what we can to help slow down global warming. 

Want to buy a new shirt because you're feeling the boyfriend look this season and know a nice cotton shirt is going to feel great under THAT jumper? Don't buy a cheap cotton shirt online. Have you heard of organic cotton? The production of Organic cotton needs less pesticides in production (hello CO2) and reduces water waste by up to 50%. Organic cotton is a little more expensive but it feels great, it lasts longer and it reduces harmful gas emissions. When you get a hole in your Jamie jeans and you're not sure how you can wear them out? Save them. Keep them for summer. Create a pair of high waisted shorts with them... or better yet, donate or stitch it up yourself. It's just a hole right? 

As a design student, I have come to the realisation that there are far bigger things going on in this world than what we realise, and the danger of our own living environment is higher than ever - in terms of my contribution, this year I am focusing on creating a sustainable collection of garments that aren't only sustainable, but also stylish. As a consumer? I'm trying my best to consider what I buy and think about what lays behind the item and what the bigger picture is. After all, it's another excuse to invest in higher quality pieces rather than cheap throw aways that waste my money. 

So, don't throw away - save. Don't buy cheap - invest. simple huh? 

photo credit - Georgia Sillitoe http://www.georgiasillitoe.com/

Harnessing with Amelia Stephenson

For my second designer that I chose to collaborate with, I wanted to work with designs that were a little unconventional but yet no less eye-catching and exciting. Cue the work of Amelia Stephenson. 

A contour design student from London, Amelia Stephenson is fast-tracking herself towards a 'lingerie-meets-fashion' forte, and showing that harness' are not just for the dark and dangerous. Using silver chains, elastic, metallic features and leather, the harness' are perfect for when you feel you want to add a bit of a twist to a look - from cotton dresses to jersey basics (have I said already how I love my jersey?), the body accessories that Stephenson creates are the 21st century girl's way to accessorize, and are the girl's best friend when it comes to moving from a day to night style. 

From a design background of Agent Provocateur, Fleur of England, Nichole de Carle and freelance work with start-up brands, it's no surprise that Stephenson herself is working on her own design brand Amelie Louise London, that has an edge of sexiness against delicacy and femininity - a speckle of BDSM to a white shirt, a smidge of leather strapping with a pair of suit trousers, Stephenson brings allure back to styling with attention to detail and an amplified design aesthetic. 

So you've got that hot date coming up and feel like you just can't wear the same old GAP white shirt again? You're looking for something to add to the LBD you've chosen (again) to wear to Cirque? Now is the time to think outside the box and Amelia Louise London is your ticket to beating the norm. 

instagram - @amelielouise.london

email - amelia.stephenson@allingerie.co.uk